From one corner of the earth to another...UK to NZ

What brought me and my boyfriend to New Zealand, they ask? Well apart from my own quintessential "lostness" and desire to run from the makings of what my life was going to become, I applied for a working holiday visa, took my love by the hand and said "Follow me". And he did.
Before we were sitting at Heathrow Airport, sick with nerves waiting to board a flight to Auckland, New Zealand, I was living my own mundane nightmare. Or I thought I was, until recently I realised that perhaps it was other people's judgements of my life and my own self-image that made me feel like it was mundane.
I had made good friends in the UK, had a job, which was by no means challenging...But I worked with a great bunch of English builders, who would boost my confidence daily and I worked with an even better Irish compadre, who happened to become my mentor and close friend, even though she had not signed up for it. I got paid and spent my money on myself.
I found love with a deep, insecure chef who is the bestest friend a girl could ask for. His compacity to forgive and cater (what he does best) for my every need never fails to surprise me.
That's how he ended up in Auckland, New Zealand.
But for some unknown reason, my life in the UK was making me unhappy. I missed my friends and family back in South Africa (and Namibia) daily and I missed my boyfriend as he was working over 70hours a week. Even though we lived together, we hardly saw each other and when we did, we were both tired. People who were close to me but who were not physically near to me and my life, at the time, began to worry.
An old best friend of mine mentioned that she thought, "I should do more with my life" (even though she was hardly running for President- but she was happy) and my Father (who lives in South Africa) would say "Dont get stuck there, Love" and my mother (who lives in Turkey) said " I dont want you to look back on your life and regret it". Three people closest to me had all thrust these words onto my current situation and it stung like a bee.
What did everyone expect of me? Had I let myself down? Was my unhappiness so clear to people? What exactly did these three people want me to do with my life? What did I want to do with my life? Was my current life and situation really that bad?
I cant tell you the answers to any of these questions. I just knew I needed to get out. Get out and think. Or get out and learn. Like my Irish friend once said "Hindsight is an important thing" and to have hindsight, you have to leave something behind.
And so now four months down the line, we are still in Auckland, New Zealand learning things about ourselves and although I cannot tell you what will happen next, I know in my heart I am happier and wiser.
And this is how I got wiser. They love me a lot. They worry about me.They will always want the best for me. But at the end of the day, I'm living my life how I need to and I probably wont ever live up to their expectations because I have my own or none. My father also once said to me "The most important advice I can give you, Love, is: Make Yourself Happy."
And that's what I'm trying to do.

The princess without her castle

My prince- my one and only true royal attribute-lies asleep in our bed, in a studio apartment, on Anzac Avenue in Auckland NZ. After one too many vodka and lemonades, he rests his hard-working, dragon-slaying head. I, on the other hand, insist that I need to finish my bottle of $10.00 wine and as it is a Saturday soon, I can sleep it off in my royal robes.
I got a phonecall from my mother, the Queen, who lives in Turkey with her lovable Irish husband about an hour ago. She has set my head reeling once again, as parents so gallantly do...about the future and what it holds for me. She said, "you do realise that England is in an economic slump and living in Brighton will be highly expensive for a princess?" and i said, "yes ma'am". She said "you do realise that it was a good move going to NZ and getting out of England?" and i said "yes ma'am". And i know what she was trying to say. My interpretation was that I should avoid England at all costs and yet it is where my ladies-in-waiting hold court and it is where my prince has his Kingdom.
What i wanted to say or shout...(however a princess would go about this matter) was "Where shall I go?!!"
What is a princess to do when she has no castle or Kingdom of her own? Does she willingly follow her prince to rule the Kingdom that she has unwillingly inherited?
Or is she meant to feel this utter sense of "lost" to eventually find her own way and her own Kingdom to rule?
I'm not sure if it is the $10.00 bottle of wine that makes me want to reach out to my prince brother and gain his acceptance or if I just crave some royal family love. Perhaps as he is the older sibling and next in line to the thrown, I feel it is his duty to protect and guide me.
I love my family and it has been a long time since I have craved the togetherness that I had lost a long time ago. Quality time has been reduced to pricey air-fares and foreign phonecalls with time-delayed questions about the future that set my princess head on a jutty carousel.
I guess the point is, I miss my family. I can finally admit it. I miss having a castle to call home.

I'm a 24yr old girl "living the dream" in an exotic country, with a man who loves me to share it, with true friends across the globe and a generous family in each corner of each hemisphere. I am lucky. I am a princess...just lacking the castle.